Read, Write, Repeat.

Today’s reviewer: Jaiden, 5.  (Jaiden also answers to “Princess Reads-a-Lot.”)

Jaiden likes: Playing with friends and eating mac-and-cheese and cake.

The book: A Tree for Emmy (Peachtree, 2009). Written by Mary Ann Rodman. Illustrated by Tatjana Mai-Wyss.

What happens: Emmy wanted a tree and she found a small tree and she didn’t want it, but then she did.

The best part was when: She found a baby mimosa.

I laughed when: Her Gramma called her stubborn and strong and a little bit wild.

I was worried when: She cried on her bed.

I was sad when: She couldn’t find a mimosa.

I was surprised that: She got a mimosa tree.

This book taught me: You should be stubborn and wild and a little bit crazy.

This book also taught me: Even if it isn’t what you want, it is going to be what you want if you have patience.

Other kids reading this book should: Look at the sweater she’s wearing in the fall.

Three words that best describe this book are: Stubborn, strong and wild.

My favorite line or phrase in the book is: When Emmy sings, “My tree, my tree, my beautiful tree!”

You should read this because: It’s funny.

Thanks for joining Read, Write, Repeat, Jaiden!

Want to know more? See what Peachtree has to say about this picture book on its Web site.

If you’d like to read this book, visit your local library or bookstore. If you’ve already read it, tell us what you think!

Check back often for more kid book reviews.

Today is National Punctuation Day. Take a moment to celebrate in the manner you prefer.

And feel free to share your favorite punctuation mark, if you’re so moved. I’d vote for the em dash myself. I can get a little dash happy.

A writing affliction is afoot. I call it Church Newsletter Syndrome (CNS). You might have it if you’re tempted to write memos that begin:

Good news! The Ladies Aid Society is excited to inform you that next week’s potluck will be better than ever! You won’t want to miss it!!

“Ah,” you say. “That’s not me. I write fiction.”

Don’t count yourself out. CNS infiltrates all types of writing. Search your stories. Are there sections like this?

Molly had waited her entire lackluster life for this moment! Everything that ever had been or ever would be important hung in the balance. Couldn’t Mrs. Martin SEE what was at STAKE!?

Quite simply, CNS is a tendency to over-promise and under-deliver. Common symptoms include a fondness for exclamation points and unsubstantiated claims. Why are these bad? Let’s review:

Exclamation points – These should denote something big, loud or awe-inspiring. They should not be used casually. (Goody! Pears for lunch!) Pretend you only have three exclamation points to use in your life. Do you want to waste one on fruit? Another problem is that exclamation points tell the reader how to feel. If your writing is strong, readers will know something is big, loud or awe-inspiring without an end-of-sentence prompt. Strangely enough, the more exclamation points you use in your copy the less important it seems.

Unsubstantiated claims – Usually, these take the form of adverbs and adjectives. (Great news … It’s so exciting … In an unprecedented announcement … ) Take out any vague modifier you’re tempted to use and replace it with information that explains why your topic is great, exciting or unprecedented. In business writing, this means carefully explaining the benefits of a new computer system so employees naturally think, “Wow! This system is better than our old one.”

Letting people come to conclusions themselves based on the facts you’ve presented, is much more effective than writing something like, “Company XYZ introduced an innovative computer system today with exemplary, user-friendly features.” This often prompts readers to think, “Oh, yeah? Says who?”

In fiction, that means trusting your characters’ actions to speak for themselves. Put Molly in a situation that shows what she’s waiting for and what’s at stake. If she says, “Touch my trombone and die, dirtbag.” readers will know she’s not pleased. There’s no need to use an exclamation point or add a sentence saying, “Molly was really very mad.”

Other signs of CNS include anything that contributes to an air of unwarranted excitement. Such as:

 • Capitalizing random words for emphasis. (We didn’t say ANYTHING.)

• Putting “air quotes” around words that aren’t a quotation. (Survey data is starting to “trickle in.”)

 • Bolding words when there’s no good reason. (Skippy juggled and made balloon animals.)

Perhaps the best way to determine if you suffer from CNS is to ask someone who isn’t invested in your topic or scene if they think it’s as important as you do.

They won’t, but don’t take it personally.

Most parishioners aren’t excited by potluck changes. Many employees are annoyed by new computer systems. And some readers consider a character’s unspecified angst to be evidence of another writing disorder – Too Much Drama (TMD).

The best you can do is set your scene or share your update simply and clearly using the facts at your disposal. Then step away from the page, and let your readers draw their own conclusions.

Meet Lisa Moser, an author you should know. Her picture book, Kisses on the Wind, was released by Candlewick Press earlier this month. She joins Read, Write, Repeat to talk about her writing process and how this book came to be.

What inspired you to write this book?
I call Kisses on the Wind the book of my heart.  I think it was the one book that I was meant to write, and I hope it goes out into the world and brings goodness to children and all who read it. 

Kisses on the Wind was inspired by the feelings I had as a child whenever I had to say good-bye to my Grandma. I loved her dearly, but she lived in Florida, and we lived in Iowa, and I only got to see her twice a year. We did write letters back and forth every week, though. Anyway, she helped me cope with the grief of separation and taught me how to love someone from far away. I think that was one of her great gifts to me, and I wanted to share her wisdom with others. 

At first when I was writing it, I had the story set in contemporary times. Something was just not clicking, though. I used to teach the Oregon Trail history to my fifth graders in Ohio, and I was always fascinated by the pioneer families who could leave everything behind to start a new life. So, one day when I was particularly frustrated with how the story was developing, I thought, “Why don’t you change the setting? Why don’t you make it about a little girl leaving on the Oregon Trail?”

I started writing, and the story seemed to just spill out of me and onto the paper. After months of research, to make sure I was absolutely accurate, I had the book of my dreams. 

Kisses on the Wind was inspired by my Grandma, and I tried to relate how much she meant to me in the dedication below. 

“She loved me so well, and I loved her right back.”

Where and how do you write?
I always start my writing day with a prayer. I ask Jesus to guide and bless my writing so that I may always bring goodness to children. 

Our dog, Coach, has to be walked in the morning, so while we hike our four or five miles, I think very deeply about my stories. Usually, I’m working on a major problem, and the fresh air and good exercise helps me. The beautiful part is that when we get back, Coach is worn out and will nap the rest of the morning, freeing me up to write without interruption.

For every story I write, I keep a notebook.  I write down thoughts and ideas. I play with different plots, conflicts, and resolutions. If you read the notebooks, it sounds like I’m talking to myself, and in essence, I guess I am. 

Then I sit down with my trusty laptop and begin writing. When I do school visits, I love to tell children that I have atrocious handwriting. Then I say, “But my handwriting has nothing to do with my ability to write.” Children often think that if it’s not neat, it’s not a good story, so I love to use myself as an example of how that isn’t true.

When the story is written, I trot it off to my wonderful writing group. I love this group of talented, smart, giving ladies, but I will say that they have never given me the go-ahead sign on any of stories the first time. Hope as I might, they always find something that needs more work.  After their insightful input, it’s back to revising. 

And then, when I think I’ve done the best that I can, maybe 20 total revisions, I send it off to my editor with a little prayer that she will like it as much as I do. The next day, I turn to my next story. There’s no sense waiting around for word on the story. That will take months and months, and there’s work to be done in the meantime!

Favorite picture book author:
I think Patricia Polacco’s books are extraordinary. 

Favorite picture book illustrator:
I love Elisa Kleven’s work. Her pages are filled with color and tiny, little stories in and of themselves. In her book Sun Bread, I love to look in the windows of the little houses and see what each of the characters is doing. 

Which picture book do you read for inspiration?
Oh, as I sit here and think, I’m overwhelmed by the many, many wonderful books that have touched my life in an extraordinary way. It depends on the day, and it depends on the season. Silver Packages by Cynthia Rylant moves me to tears every time. What a book! It’s perfect for the Christmas season. Then there’s The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats which was my favorite childhood book. 

Can I mention a couple of novels, too? Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery, Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls. 

How did you go from aspiring writer to published author?
I call that journey, “Seven years and a good pair of shoes!” I was a fifth-grade teacher before I became a stay-at-home mom, so I was always surrounded by literature. And it had been my dream since I was a little girl to write books. My grandma used to write stories for my sister and me. She’d write the story, draw the pictures, and bind them up in bright yarn. Then on some golden days, some treasure days, my sister and I would go to the mailbox and find her gifts. That was when I began dreaming of becoming a children’s book author. 

So when I had our daughter, I began to seriously write. I took classes from a wonderful writer and illustrator named Gretchen Mayo who has become my dear friend and mentor. And then I did what everyone has to do. I wrote. I submitted. I was rejected. I wrote more.  I submitted more. I was rejected more. But each story got a little stronger.  Each story got a little closer. When my first book The Monster in the Backpack (illus. by Noah Z. Jones, Candlewick) was finally accepted, my stories were significantly better than when I started. It’s a learning curve that can’t be skipped. 

Advice you’d give someone just starting out:
Immerse yourself in children’s literature. And I’m not talking about a picture book here and there. It’s not enough to read a book to your children at bedtime. You really have to take home stacks of children’s novels and picture books every week from the library to study, analyze, and enjoy. You have to read the classics, this year’s prizewinners, and everything in between. Personally, I haven’t read an adult book in over 10 years because I’m so busy staying current in the children’s market. To tell you the truth, I think adult books are extremely gloomy. Children’s books, on the other hand, are filled with hope. I think children have the greatest collection of literature in the world!

Favorite part of writing:
I love when a story starts playing like a movie in my head. This is when I know it’s time to sit down with my computer and actually write the story out. Of course, this comes after months and months and months of thinking and writing. When the story actually clicks, it’s the greatest feeling of joy as I write!

The coolest library you’ve ever visited:
I grew up in the small town of Fairfield, Iowa, and we had the first Carnegie Library west of the Mississippi. It was this beautiful four-story, stone building, and when you walked in, it smelled like books! Once or twice a week, I’d pedal my bike all the way across town, stopping at the Handy Pantry for a quarter sack of candy. I’d spend a cool afternoon, out of the hot Iowa sun, searching the shelves for just the right books. I loved that library!

Anything else you’d like to add?
I do have a Web site, www.LisaMoserBooks.com

Finally, write because you love to. Don’t do it for the publications. That will come in time. Write because it brings you joy. Write, because if you don’t, those wonderful, unique, incredible stories that only you know, will be lost. Write because there’s a part of you that blossoms when you do. Write. That’s what writers do. 

Want to read more by Lisa? Her other books include:

Squirrel’s World (Candlewick Press, 2007)
The Monster in the Backpack (Candlewick Press, 2006)
Watermelon Wishes (Clarion Books, 2006)

Today’s reviewer: Sonia, 7.

What happens: There’s a pig that likes toast. She goes to the movies and tries to eat other people’s popcorn. Everyone tries to catch her, and then they go home and eat buttered toast.

The best part of the book was when: Animal Control Officer Francine Poulet caught Officer Tomilello with her net, and Leroy Ninker caught Francine Poulet with his lasso.

I was surprised that: Leroy Ninker had a job. I thought he was still in jail from robbing the Watsons.

I was worried when: Mercy ran away at the movies.

Three words that describe this book are: Funny, pigs and butter.

My favorite phrase in the book is: “Wonky. Wonky in the extreme.”

Kids reading this book should look for: The firefighter with the clown nose and the firefighter with the booty chin.

Reading this book taught me: Never, ever, let a pig in the movies.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Sonia!

Want to know more? See what Kate DiCamillo has to say about this book on her Web site. Or what Chris Van Dusen says on his site.

If you’d like to read the book, visit your local library or bookstore.

Check back often for more kid reviews.

All writers have been told to cut their work.

A story I recently sold to Highlights magazine came back with a note that said, “We like this. Can you make it 500 words?”

I wasn’t surprised. In my day job, I edit copy from an array of business writers, and one thing I’ve learned is you can always make a piece shorter. And making it shorter – if you do it right – invariably makes it better.

My story was 625 words. I took the editor’s request as a personal challenge and hit 500 words on the head.

But how do you be brief? How do you look at your work-in-progress and make it shorter, tighter and stronger? Here are a few tips to try:

Eliminate words you love. Every writer has them. For me, it’s “just” and “really.” Other common ones are “that,” “very” and “suddenly.” Search for those words and ask if they truly need to remain. Chances are, your sentence can stand without them.

 Trim certain phrases. Some phrases you can automatically shorten. “Prior to” can always be “before.” “Stand up” can always be “stand.” “First ever” can simply be “first.” Dozens of extra words creep into you manuscript this way. Don’t let them.

 Adjust your adverbs and adjectives. A few will do. If you find yourself using strings of adjectives to describe a noun, pare down to the most essential. And if you use a lot of adverbs, eliminate them and make your verb stronger. Use “wobbled” or “tottered” instead of “walked shakily.”

Check for value. Does each part of your piece add value to the whole? If you removed a scene or a quote or a transition, would you miss it? I can’t count the number of times I’ve struggled with a section of a manuscript for hours only to realize if I cut it, the story would be even better.

 Review each sentence individually. Challenge yourself to say the same thing in fewer words. It can be done!

If you need inspiration to pare down your prose, check out these quotes from some writing masters:

• You can cut 20 words from the tightest page you ever wrote. – Richard Peck
• I try to leave out the parts people skip.  – Elmore Leonard
• Easy reading is damn hard writing.  – Nathaniel Hawthorne

Need more inspiration? Consider what Greenwillow Editor Susan Hirschmann said about All Alone, the first book Kevin Henkes sold her. It was, perhaps, the ultimate compliment:

“There wasn’t an extra word in it.”

When I was a kid, my sister and I spent summers at the library. We went every morning and checked out as many books as we could carry. We’d read all afternoon, then go back the next day and start over. We read so much the librarian in charge of the summer reading program thought we were padding our numbers and asked to speak to our mom.

My oldest daughter is nothing like that.

Don’t get me wrong. She’s a great kid. Musical, athletic, outgoing and talented in ways I’ll never be. But reading is not her big thing.

This pains me. I did all the things parents are supposed to do to raise a reader. I read to her, took her to the library, filled our house with books and let her see me reading. No dice.

So this summer, I resorted to bribery. Now in middle-school, she’s old enough to want certain things but young enough to lack the necessary cash. She especially wanted these shoes. I admired their fabulosity, but questioned their practicality and wasn’t about to buy them. Sulking ensued – hers and mine.

Enter, The List.

It contained 26 books. For each book she read, I promised $5. I spent a lot of time crafting the list. I wanted books she’d like and books I’d feel good about her reading. I drew from many sources. My favorites. Books getting a good buzz now. Topics that matched her interests. And a few I hadn’t read that seemed promising.

My disclaimer: In no way do I claim this is a comprehensive review of middle-grade or YA literature. It’s not. It’s just one mom’s attempt to match her daughter with some books that might get her excited.

Did it work? Yes and no.

She started with dollar signs in her eyes and a pledge to read every book on the list. She didn’t make it. Some of the shorter books got read first. Some she finished only for the money.

But there was only one book she just couldn’t make herself finish. And there were others she didn’t like at first, which grew on her. And we talked. About whether we’d want a savvy like Mibs had and why John and Lorraine acted the way they did to Mr. Pignati.

She learned to reserve books online. And found other books, not on the list, that she read and enjoyed, including two graphic novel series.

Then, at a bookstore, she said, “A lot of those books on your list are displayed here. That’s cool.”

She earned enough to buy the shoes, which made her the happiest pre-teen in Wisconsin for a few days. And we agreed to continue our deal during the school year, which made me a happy mom.

She’s currently on page 54 of My Side of the Mountain and just informed me she’d have to be very hungry to trap and kill a deer.

Oh, and she wants to know when we can visit the library. She has more books to pick up.

Maybe my work here is done.